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Dec 31

Finding the Thread That Connects You To Your Life


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31 DECEMBER 2025

Finding the Thread That Connects You To Your Life

We live in a world that loves the language of passion. “Find your calling.” “Do what you love.” “Follow your dreams.” These messages sound inspiring, but for many people, they spark anxiety instead of clarity. What if you don’t have one grand passion that drives you? What if you have never felt a lightning-bolt moment of purpose? Does that mean you are destined for a life without meaning?

The truth is, not everyone’s passion arrives as a clear calling. For many, it is more like a thread—subtle, continuous, sometimes hidden—woven through different experiences, waiting to be noticed and unravelled.


The Myth of the
Singular Calling

Modern culture often portrays passion as singular and obvious: the artist who always knew they were meant to paint, the entrepreneur who launched a business at age twelve, the doctor who dreamed of medicine since childhood. These stories are powerful, but they can make the rest of us feel inadequate.

 In reality, research in psychology shows that most people don’t follow a single passion but instead cultivate interests over time (Chen et al., 2021). Our sense of purpose grows in layers, shaped by the people we meet, the challenges we face, and the values we come to hold dear. Passion, for many, is less like a destination and more like a trail you create as you walk it.


Looking for the Hidden Patterns

If passion is not always obvious, how can you find it? The answer lies in noticing the recurring themes in your life. Ask yourself:

What activities consistently energize me, even in small ways? 

What problems do I naturally feel drawn to solve?

What compliments or feedback do I tend to receive from others?

 Where do I lose track of time without realizing it?

Often, these clues don’t point to a single profession or role, but to deeper patterns. Perhaps you have shifted careers several times but always find yourself in roles where you are mentoring others. Or maybe you have worked across different industries, yet collaboration and creativity always light you up. These patterns reveal the thread that connects your experiences, even if it has not yet formed into a neat “passion statement.”

The Thread as a Source
of Fulfillment

The beauty of finding your thread is that it reframes passion as something flexible, not fixed. Instead of chasing the illusion of one perfect calling, you can focus on cultivating alignment between your values and your daily choices. That is where fulfillment comes in. Fulfillment is many things, but it is also about clarity and the sense that your actions, however varied, connect back to what matters to you. This sense may not always be coherent, it may come from your gut, or your heart, not just from the machinations of your organized mind.
Once you identify your thread, you will start to see how different aspects of your life reflect the same underlying theme. A love of storytelling might show up in writing, public speaking, or even coaching. A pull toward service might appear in volunteer work, leadership roles, or how you show up for family and friends.

Some Ways to Notice
Your Thread

Reflect on your story
Look back at pivotal moments in your life. What values guided your choices? What lessons keep resurfacing?

Pay attention to your energy
Passion often hides in plain sight in the tasks that feel effortless, or the conversations that leave you energized rather than drained.

Listen to others
Sometimes, people around us see our thread before we do. Notice what they turn to you for, or how they describe your strengths.

Experiment with curiosity
Passion is not always found by thinking harder. It is often discovered by doing. Explore new projects, roles, or hobbies and see what resonates.

A Broader, Kinder Definition of Passion

Not having a singular calling does not mean you lack purpose. It means your purpose may be multi-faceted, like a tapestry woven from different threads. Instead of comparing yourself to those with a clear lifelong mission, embrace the uniqueness of your own journey.

The thread that connects your life may not be obvious today, but it is there, quietly weaving meaning through your choices, relationships, and experiences. All you need to do is pause long enough to notice it. Passion is a thread; and when you follow that thread, you may discover that your life already holds the pattern of purpose you have been searching for all along.
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References
  • Chen, P., Lin, Y., Pereira, D. J. H., O’Keefe, P. A., & Yates, J. F. (2021). Fanning the Flames of Passion: A develop mindset predicts Strategy-Use intentions to cultivate passion. Frontiers in Psychology, 12. Link
  • 3 Reasons It’s So Hard to “Follow Your Passion” (2019, October 15). Harvard Business Review. Link
  • Psychologs Magazine. (2025, April 5). The myth of “Follow your passion.” Psychologs Magazine | Mental Health Magazine | Psychology Magazine | Self-Help Magazine. Link
  • Ng, J. (2023, May). A Therapist Explains Why “Finding Your Passion” Is Terrible Advice. Medium. Link
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