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Jul 21

Why Fulfillment Lasts

The Science of Sustainable Joy






You’ve just landed your dream job. The salary is great, the title commands respect and your LinkedIn feed is flooded with effusive congratulations. You fully deserve to bask in that warmth after all the hard work, as you feel giddy with excitement, validated, and unstoppable. But as time passes, a few months roll by, the excitement seems to fade and you are left wondering and asking yourself, “Why can’t I hold on to this happiness a little longer?”

 This scenario can play out in numerous ways, across professional and personal circumstances as we chase happiness, expecting to find the gold at the end of the proverbial rainbow. Instead we find it slipping through our fingers and the finish line shifts further away like a mirage in an unforgiving desert. Why does this happen? Because happiness, as often defined, is a momentary high—a fleeting emotion tied to external rewards and factors. It feels great in the moment but fades just as quickly, leaving us chasing the next big achievement. 

Fulfillment, on the other hand, is something deeper. It is not about a single moment, but a sustained sense of meaning and engagement. It does not vanish when the excitement wears off, instead, it is an internal foundation that remains steady regardless of life’s ups and downs. So how do we shift our focus from chasing happiness to cultivating fulfillment? More importantly, why does this shift matter? This article explores the difference between the two, why happiness alone is never enough, and how fulfillment offers a more meaningful and sustainable way to live.

The Differences between Happiness and Fulfillment

Happiness and fulfillment are often used interchangeably but they operate differently on a fundamental level. Generally speaking, happiness can be understood as positive emotions and feelings that emerge from pleasurable experiences in our life. The pursuit of happiness is a profound experience that can enhance our lives in various ways, but limited understanding of happiness can be more damaging than beneficial. 
The focus on immediate rewards, outcomes and achievements is motivating, but entangled in a paradox. While striving for happiness is a basic psychological need pushing us to do better, the pursuit itself can become a source of frustration because of the unrealistic standards we set for ourselves in the process.
Many disciplines have been studying the phenomenon of happiness, rightly so, considering the importance it holds, and branches of positive psychology have taken the definition further to focus not just on what is lacking but on positive thoughts and behaviors that exist. That said, the focus is still on external factors, be it positive or negative, that determine one’s sense of happiness. This means that the duration of happiness ebbs and flows erratically based on the effect of those factors.
Fulfillment, by contrast, is internally cultivated and long-lasting. Instead of relying on external rewards, it is tied to purpose, values, and deep personal growth. It is found in meaningful relationships, engaging in work that aligns with our principles, and contributing to something larger than ourselves, making it enduring and intentional. A Harvard study on happiness and fulfillment spanning over 80 years, following 700 individuals and their families, found that people who chase happiness often experience greater dissatisfaction over time.
However, those who focus on fulfillment—through deep relationships and meaningful work—report higher life satisfaction and wellbeing (Murphy, 2023). Personal intention or commitment is a very important ingredient in creating and maintaining social relationships, which in turn reflects on improving a major component of one’s self. 
At The Fulfillment Institute, we understand fulfillment as not something that is chanced upon, but something you can create by tapping into an internal capacity for self mastery. Self-Mastery prioritizes general development of skills and competencies without really linking it back to internal development. Self mastery, on the other hand, develops competencies and skills that allow us to direct and take accountability for our choices and actions, to better engage with ourselves and the world around us.

The pursuit of happiness is a natural human instinct and can be an important motivating factor for some aspects of self-growth. But what if it is the very chase that is keeping us from sustaining it? 

The “Hedonic Treadmill” Effect

Psychologists describe happiness as a moving target, which once attained—whether it is a promotion, a new relationship, or a material possession—the high fades, and we set our sights on the next goal. This cycle, known as the Hedonic Treadmill, keeps us in a constant loop of striving without lasting satisfaction. Studies on lottery winners and Olympic gold medalists reveal that despite reaching their pinnacle moments, many return to their pre-win emotional baseline. The external high then, does not translate into sustained wellbeing.

Research suggests that this pattern is not just frustrating—it is exhausting. The nervous system responds to the thrill of achievement with a dopamine rush, but prolonged exposure to this chase can increase stress hormones like cortisol, leading to burnout rather than joy (Dresp-Langley, B., 2023). This paradox is worth exploring: chasing happiness can actually make us more anxious. The pressure to “stay happy” can cause fear of negative emotions, leading to avoidance rather than resilience.

Studies show that people who prioritize happiness too much often feel less happy due to the stress of maintaining it.

Fulfillment as a Sustainable Alternative

Unlike happiness, fulfillment is not about getting everything you want, it is about developing an internal sense of stability, even amid challenges. Many high-profile achievers—CEOs, athletes, and celebrities—have spoken about feeling empty despite their success, like Apple’s CEO Tim Cook, who stated that “It’s lonely at the top”. Some turn to deeper pursuits, such as philanthropy, mentorship, or creative endeavors, in search of something more enduring than external achievement. Fulfillment allows you to remain inspired without being in a state of constant emotional turbulence, while giving back, and tapping into inner reservoirs of resilience and outer supportive social networks. This eventually allows you to feel like you are part of something bigger than yourself, and this feeling itself can be much more giving in the long run. 

The Shift: How to Cultivate Fulfillment 

Unlike happiness, which relies on external circumstances, fulfillment is cultivated internally through deliberate choices and practices. The next step is to look at how we can change tracks when cultivating our capacity for fulfillment:
  • Going from ‘What Makes Me Happy?’ to ‘What Gives Me Meaning?’

    One of the biggest mindset shifts involves moving from the question of immediate pleasure to one of long-term meaning. Self-mastery plays a crucial r ole here, understanding how we engage with ourselves, our relationships, our work, and the larger world. When we cultivate self-mastery, we become agile, adaptable, and resilient in an expansive way. By adjusting our approach to how we deal with external circumstances, we ensure that we can achieve our goals without compromising on our wellbeing and internal ease.

  • Balancing Achievement and Deep Connection

    We often assume that fulfillment comes from either professional success or strong relationships, but research in developmental psychology suggests that fulfillment arises from integrating both. This is where the concept of polarities comes in: rather than thinking in an ‘either-or’ mindset (e.g., success vs. relationships), we shift to an ‘and’ mindset (success and relationships) (Johnson, 1998). 

  • Practical Strategies for Cultivating Fulfillment:

    Invest in Deep Relationships   Studies show that strong, meaningful connections are one of the most reliable predictors of life satisfaction.

    Find Joy in Progress, Not Just Outcomes   Fulfilled individuals focus on learning and growth rather than only striving towards end goals.

    Align Yourself with Your Values    A sense of purpose at work fosters resilience and deeper satisfaction.

    Practice Gratitude and Contribution   Acts of kindness and service create a reinforcing loop of wellbeing and fulfillment.

As psychologist Barry Schwartz notes, “The secret to fulfillment isn’t more choice—it’s deep engagement with what truly matters.” Instead of chasing external validation, fulfillment is about crafting a life where meaning, growth, and connection are at the center.

Bringing it all together

Fulfillment is about reframing happiness and wellbeing on our own terms and in a way that it can last. While happiness offers an immediate burst of positive emotion, fulfillment provides a stable foundation that we can build on, nurture, and sustain. When we shift from chasing external validation to cultivating meaning, deep relationships, and personal growth, we step off the hedonic treadmill and into a life of satisfaction and meaning. This shift requires intention, specifically the intention to be committed to being the best version of ourselves in the kindest way possible. Part of initiating the shift is also about exercising our self-mastery to navigate challenges and extract value from our experiences. In the end, the most fulfilled individuals are not those who have everything but those who engage deeply with what matters. So, as you move forward, ask yourself: Am I pursuing fleeting happiness, or am I investing in lasting fulfillment? By making small, deliberate changes, we create a life not just of pleasure, but one of deep meaning.
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Resources
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  • Sutton, Jeremy. 2024. “What is Happiness? Understanding the Happiness Paradox.” Positive Psychology. December 10, 2024.  Link
  • Murphy, B. (2023, February 6). An 80-Year Harvard Study Found the Secret to a Happy Life. These 9 Simple Habits Make It Possible. Inc. Link
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